Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Rule of 5’s

Status: Proven

Over the years this theory has been tested and proven by our top researchers. Essentially everything is dependent upon the number 5. The amount of 5's depends upon the situation you find yourself in. It goes something like this:

In order to get the girl you have 5:
  • seconds

  • minutes

  • hours

  • days

  • weeks

  • months

  • and yes maybe even years
  • to make your move.
Let us elaborate on each time frame:
  • If you are in a crowded meat market club and you make eye contact, you have 5 seconds to make your move.

  • If you are in a more intimate type of bar, where one can actually speak and be heard, you have 5 minutes to make that first initial contact.

  • 5 hours could refer to some kind of all day event, such as a music festival. That is of course if you can find her again.

  • 5 days is good for a conference, work setting or school.

  • 5 weeks can also be a work or school setting, or even something more casual where you see the girl on a weekly basis.

  • If the F-bomb is ever dropped on you ”You’re such a great friend.”, don’t fret the rule of 5 may still apply. Whether it takes you 5 months of 5 years you can convert that friend to a F-friend
If you tend to meet most girls in casual social situations such as house parties, the rule of 5 to stick with is the rule of 5 minutes. If you don’t make your move within the first 5 minutes, then there may be no chance for you. Just come on strong and don't worry, if your advances are unwanted she will let you know. As Woody Harrelson puts it:

"We're the gas, they're the brakes.".

Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Olive Theory

Status: Untested Proven (Updated 05/31/10) read below for details

The Olive Theory is an educated guess based on the chemical structure of two elements. If the subject enjoys the first element than it is safe to assume that she will also like the second element equally. If she likes both elements equally, than logically the outcome of the first element will be equal or similar to the second element.

o = olive
s = salty
x = swallow
g = girl
c = well, you know

o = s

o + g = x

c + g = x

c = s

Feel free to test out this theory and share your data. There are really only two questions one needs to ask the subject:

1) Do you like olives?
2) Spit or Swallow?

It has recently come to my attention that this debate has already been had and therefore the theory has been deemed proven, since the debate was had by the very same subjects in question. Please take a look at the following article and the comments that follow: Spit or Swallow?

Monday, May 18, 2009

The Olive Theory Blog

The Olive Theory Blog is a list of theories and rules when it comes to interacting with the, sometimes known as, fairer sex, or as we all know, the elusive sex.

There are many popular theories and rules that are already out there, including the Three Day Rule, the Go Where Everyone Knows Your Name rule, etc. Unless filler is needed, this blog will feature the not so well known rules, such as the Rule of 5’s and of course it’s namesake The Olive Theory.

Please leave any questions or concerns in the comment section, or email The Olive Theory Blog directly at:

the_olive_theory [@]